Ever since I started preforming at this theater, there’s been a rumor about some “lair” or something where the phantom lives. Personally, I don’t believe that under the stage lies a massive dark room with skulls and an organ. I mean really, how come the opera house isn’t collapsing? I would really recommend that you stop believing in this nonsense because, c’mon, it’s impossible. Do you see ANY door that could le-AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
Found it…..
OK, so right now I am, well, falling I think… Maybe there is a lair after all… OK, so somehow I landed and I’m fine, but let’s not worry about that…. We have bigger matters to take care of, like “Where am I?”
10 Minutes Later…
OK, I am definitely in the Phantoms Lair, I was wrong… Its a big dark room, with, wow, they were right: an organ and a bunch of sculls… How they knew remains a mystery…. Seriously, I have no idea.
The next thing I notice is the lake. Really, a lake. There has to be some magical force holding the opera house up or something because this isn’t possible. But whatever, let’s focus on what is important, like, my shoes are completely soaked right now. Like, really soaked…
So soaked that I remove them from my feet and place them on a rock by the shore. What happens next is still a mystery. Like, really. I’m writing this in the lair, and since I removed my shoes, I have to focus on my fe-ouch! Sharp, SHARP! See….Focus is key….
Photo Credit: Francesco via Compfight: Edited via Photoshop by Everest M.
“Found it…..””10 Minutes Later…” I liked how use used these words to show time passing and how you left it in its own paragraph since it gives your story a more sudden and mysterious sound. I liked the humor and voice that you used because you made it seem more like a piece that is like a humorous mystery.”Do you see ANY door that could le-AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!” I liked how you had your narrator fall into the danger rather than have started in the danger.
great post, you used first person to your advantage in a way so it could be funny but have that mysterious mood. You also used ellipse’s really well.
The voice you use is incredible, I can really see the emotions and internal conflict the narrator is going through. I also liked how you used “Found it…..” and “10 Minutes Later…”. They are good transitions to let me know where you are going and where you are. Great job!
“There has to be some magical force holding the opera house up or something because this isn’t possible.” I really like this part because you show the performer’s disbelief and confusion in a funny and entertaining way. This story has so much voice, and I can imagine the performer saying it. Great job!