The delivery man had groaned when he had gotten the assignment. “300 pounds of plywood to be delivered to the 14th opera lair” the note had read. Anyone who saw 14th opera lair on their order form knew that they had a rough day ahead of them. It was heck to get to, down meter wide tunnels, and across bottomless lakes. The journey was nearly impossible for a man alone, much less bringing 300 pounds of wood. The poor man knew he hap no choice though, the company had a slogan: “Every costumer satisfied”. So it was with a heavy heart that he strapped the desired cargo into the back of his truck-barge.
He coasted down the service tunnel, a newly installed passage to beneath the opera, before taking a right towards dream bottom. He deciphered the way from the map on his dashboard. After a quarter of an hour, the lake loomed into view of his headlights. He pressed the blinking blue button on his stick-shift, turning his vehicle from land-crawler to water-skimmer. It was another half an hour from shore to shore, but once across the water it only took 5 minutes up a winding path, the only barrier between two halves of a huge chasm, to arrive an iron door in the face of the rock.
This was his destination.
He tentatively stepped out of the 8 wheeler, eyes fixed on the door as A feeling of foreboding fell on his form. He slowly paced towards the portal, dreading the moment that he would have to knock. And then he was there, at the door with nothing to do but announce himself to the person within.
He steeled the nerves trembling inside of his body, and rapped on the cold steel of the passage.
Almost immediately he heard an “ah-ha!” from the other side. It was not but a second before the threshold was emptied of the metal door in it. Through the new opening in the rock, he saw a figure back lit by a small chandelier. “Come in! Come in and bring with you my wood!” The figure bellowed, accompanying the words with a hearty laugh. The delivery man stood awestruck, gazing upon the once was Phantom. When he was last seen he was an evil and contorted soul. Through time however, he had transformed from a scourge to a person who seemed to glow with happiness.
“Come in and see what I’ve done with the place”, said the converted man. So John obliged, obediently shuffling through the portal from dark to cozy.
The opening room was softly lit, the ceiling tapered to the base of the miniscule chandelier, its candles flickering and soft. The predominate color of the room was red, the shade of which being the hue of a young rose. Candle lit tunnels branched off to rooms unseen.
“The tunnel to the right leads to the bedroom”, explained the Phantom, “the middle one branches off towards my library, and the one on the far right will connect to my under ground green house. I’m going to use state of the art equipment to grow plants under ground, and the wood you’ve delivered will help me create some of the things I need.”
John was too busy marveling at the room he was currently in to pay much attention to the masked man’s words, but he soon listen up.
“Now that I’ve shone you all of this, I’m afraid I can’t let you leave” were the next words to come, and as the Phantom said them he took a length of rope out from under the couch.
John could only stare in horror as the monster calmly walked towards him, forming the rope into the shape of a lasso….
Photo Credit: WatchTheFlash_Photography via Compfight
The first thing that caught my eye from this post was the title, “Remodeling.’ I was curious as to why you gave the post this title, so I began reading. I enjoyed the mix of humor and curiosity in this story, as well as the inner thoughts of the main character. I also liked how the phantom had changed, along with the (evil-ish) twist at the end.
The odd title, “Remodeling,” along with that picture of the rope struck me as weird. However, I enjoyed how in this story, the Phantom is supposedly, a changed, social man, who even decides to take something that I’d never associate with him, gardening, as a hobby. I also like how the inner thoughts and vivid descriptions makes the reader feel awed, and shocked when the old Phantom abruptly returns, and reveals his intentions to hang the main character.
“The predominate color of the room was red, the shade of which being the hue of a young rose.” You really had me believing the phantom had changed! Before he was a masked mad-man, and then when you were saying things like, “the ceiling tapered to the base of the miniscule chandelier, its candles flickering and soft” and, “Through time however, he had transformed from a scourge to a person who seemed to glow with happiness.” I totally bought into the “clean soul” theme you had going! Then at the end you revealed that the Phantom, indeed, had not changed a bit. I swear I could feel my heart do a flip and drop to the pit of my stomach…
Your story is very descriptive, I love the way all your words flowed together perfectly. Like a clean, beautiful, sparkling river. Great job!
I was wondering why you put a noose as the picture… then i read it very funny good job.
I really liked this post. My favorite line was probably this one “Now that I’ve shone you all of this, I’m afraid I can’t let you leave.” This was the part when I knew John was done for. You had me fooled at the beginning of the piece, but I just knew the Phantom couldn’t have changed.
The part of this great post that I liked this post, had to be how nonchalant the Phantom was about having to kill John (the delivery man).
Almost as if he killed a delivery man each day.
(Maybe he does?)
Haha this was a great post! I like how even though it was humorous, your writing was well structured and it was easy to follow delivery man John all the way through the Phantom’s Lair… And straight to his unfortunate demise. You can really feel John’s surprise at the Phantom’s cheeriness, and then his dread at the sight of the nose. Good job!