The wind was whispering through the cave. The water was calm and gentle. My boat flowed toward THE LAIR. Through the cave there were candles. One by one they fired with flames. I was ready… ready for HIM.
My boat came to a stop, I knew he was near. I hopped out of my boat and headed to the dark. All I could hear were the rats scurrying the opposite direction of where I was heading. Now, I really had no doubt about the Phantom popping out any moment. But instead of finding the Phantom I found a box “singing” a soft song. The sweet song was…Masquerade. I remember this song from a while away. But, I wasn’t quite sure why the song was playing?
The darkness was growing stronger though. Then I turned around slowly… and found the Phantom’s throne. My heart skipped a beat. But I realized something, the Phantom wasn’t down here. He was gone. There was one thing left in the lair… the Phantom’s white mask
Wow, that was really good! The capitalization of the words helped to make them jump out, but i would recommend using bold instead. “But there was one thing that was left on the throne… the Phantom’s white mask.” I really like this part because it has a lot of suspense and makes me wonder about where the Phantom is.
It was good of you to capitalize the “THE LAIR and HIM” It sounds like you emphasized the words. There is also a lot of suspense. Also the shortnes in the phrase “He was gone.” makes me hear that you were shocked. There was also a lot of suspense in the post.
I enjoyed the intensity that was building up to the last paragraph. “The darkness was growing stronger though. Then I turned around slowly… and found the Phantom’s throne. My heart skipped a beat. But I realized something, the Phantom wasn’t down here. He was gone. There was one thing left in the lair… the Phantom’s white mask”. It was really a surprise to find out he was gone.