Drip drop slowly the water falls as I ventured into this cave. “Has anyone lived here before? it almost feels like a lair.” But I ventured on, my great grandmother’s last wish was for people to rediscover this place ,but why did no one come here before? Almost immediately my question is answered. All across the floor there’s bones at first. I think, I hope, I wish there were just rat bones, but then my eyes slowly turn and I see the skeleton of something way too large to be a rat.The only weird part was it was holding something… I couldn’t see what it was though.
As I slowly walk towards it music starts playing very softly– almost as if it was trying to stop– almost as if the music itself brings sorrow. As shaken up as I was, I kept moving, determined to find what was in the skeleton’s hands. I finally reached my destination; I see it’s… a mask– just a mask.
I slowly decide I should try it on ,but I am halted by a soft flicker. I turn around to see what it was and I was confronted by hundreds upon hundreds of candles… all of them seemed to be lit, though they weren’t lit before. The candles all seemed to point (if that’s possible) at a throne, but this was a peculiar throne for no king or queen sat upon it–only a cape.
Photo Credit: seyed mostafa zamani via Compfightnture
“I was confronted by hundreds upon hundreds of candles.” I like the you used hundreds upon hundreds, because it shows that it is going on and on. “my great grandmothers last wish was for people to rediscover this place but why did no one come here before?” I like this sentence because you are questioning if there is something bad.
I really love the way you used imagery and feeling to help the reader create a more vivid image in the readers mind. You merged strong words into powerful sentences to help the ready envision the spookiness and darkness of the lair. I especially enjoyed how you built up to the climax of the mask on the skeleton. Good job!