The cold blood drips from the ceiling to a rock next to me. “Don’t worry about the blood.” The Phantom says trying to make me feel comfortable. The cave is eerie from it’s air to even the little pebble at my feet. The cave is just lit from it’s couple of candles, only lighting a corner of it. With every step you can hear a. Crack Crack. From the bones of the people we once knew.
As I sit down on the rock, I could see the bodies of the Phantom’s victims, worrying I would be next. The rock is cold to it’s touch not having a feeling to it. Nothing has a feeling here. The only feeling is the dark despair. The smell fills my nose, not a pleasant smell though. As if rot and decay is sitting right next to me .You could see the rusty brown organ surrounded a shrewd of dust and stalagmites growing from the top of the pipes from the organ.
“If you feel something at your feet,hey are my minions, only a tarantula or scorpion, don’t be afraid.” He says approaching me scarily. Right now that’s the only thing I could feel.
Afraid. Have I felt beyond afraid?
“The rock is cold to it’s touch not having a feeling to it.” This quote is very equivocate. It is great how you tied the Phantom’s personality to the rock, as if the rock represented the Phantom and his lair. It also shows that the Phantom and the rock now share a strong similarity. This quote is so cool because it shows that you went in greater depth to bring out more of how the Phantom is showing his personality through that lair.
“Afraid. Have I felt beyond afraid?” This sentence helps great the mood of the writing to show that this place made him feel afraid or maybe even beyond that. You also brought out the scary feel and emphasized it so that it made the people reading feel what that must have felt like to experience this.
“The rock is cold to it’s touch not having a feeling to it. Nothing has a feeling here. The only feeling is the dark despair.” I really like this sentence because its as if the despair really is overpowering any other emotion or feeling the Phantom could have, and its also overpowering you.
Also, when you said with every step you can hear a crack crack, I really like the imagery because you added hearing too, not just sight. And again when you said the smell filled my nose, its really helping to imagine it, and you are doing a really good job of showing, not telling.